I am never that good at expressing my feeling. I never does and i dont think i ever will. It's not a bad thing that i hate or what not. I like this part of me. Cause it feel really comfortable not having some random peoples know much about you. It's like this awkwardness and thing. I hate it. Like that feeling when you try to start a small talk though you really don't feel like it but you still want to do it because it seems right.
I usually can simply let go of stuff and be done with it. By not talking to anyone it is simpler to let it go. I think i'm quite good at letting go. I enjoy thinking the best out of people and not thinking too much about things. Live life simpler for me getting even simpler when we don't share much of our personal life to others.
My dad thought that i quite hard to read since he can never really understand what i feel and stuff. Well~
But, sometimes, it still take a big toll on me. People who don't share feel comfortable not sharing but when they do, they can't. Because we don't know. At least me. I don't know. I
When this strikes me i would literally go off. Like i can't think that wel and i will be sort of dysfunctional. i'll cry. like quite exaggerated i must say. why? because it's feeling related and it is with someone i care so much that it hurts. that it hurst so much but i just don't have a way to go about it. people say talk to others but me being to myself, i'm like "what PEOPLE can do?"
So those who believe in Allah and hold fast to Him - He will admit them to mercy from Himself and bounty and guide them to Himself on a straight path. (4:175)
Tarbiyah ask us to find Allah in every part of our life. Include Him. Feel that Allah is with us indeed all the time even we are asleep.Allah is the closest to a person than anyone can ever be.
And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein (50:16)
He understand us more than we really do. So, i try to compose myself by asking Allah to make me feel at ease. If it's related on feeling then i'll pray to Allah that Allah help to make "feelings" is on my side. I alway get confused and stuff so i ask Allah to make it clear. Sometimes i just don't know what to feel that i simply pray that Allah make me understand and help me through it. The main point here is that you can always ask for anything even for things that you know you need it but your mind just can get to it. Because Allah is the All-Knowing and The-Most-Merciful and Loving. He will help me
And your Lord says, "Call
upon Me; I will respond to you." Indeed, those who disdain My
worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible. (40:60)
Why i share with people so that so called peaceful can be achieved if the peacefulness really is come from Allah. That if it is really a problem that I can simply ask Allah to help me because everything happen because He say so.
Then it strucks me. Allah give me this keep-to-myself only for a reason. for me to find Him. insyaAllah.
"Sufficient for us is Allah , and [He is] the best Disposer of affairs." (3:173)
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