One thing about me is that i, myself, find me rather complicated.
Have you ever felt that you need to change yourself. Like 360 degree of change. To be a better self of course. I always do.
But then never does do anything. I found this blog zenhabits.com I like to read it as it makes a better self is doable. Just that the "do" part was not coming at all. He listed the reasons why and 75% of it is me!
So, let this be a change.
Bismillah real hard.
One most important thing is that to change yourself, Allah must be wanting it or else nothing would happen. To be in the willingness of Allah, your change must something benefited Him. Well. What is a life really is if it is not for Him.
This zen guy, Leo, told that in other to kept motivated I myself need to find a reason for the change that i want. That I need. A reason personally important for me and I knew right away that it must be for Allah.
I am not a pious woman. I sinned much and regrets and do it again and regrets some more. I am those ignorant stupid persons who knows but not doing. I want to change this. To be a better servant. Hopefully with the changes that I aim to do I will then get the strength to do changes to give myself a higher ranking in Allah's eyes.
It's a long term plan.
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