Roll On: Things that stand between me and complete happiness

This post is based on a writing prompt i'm trying and the prompt asked "things" but mine has only one thing, myself.

But first, to clarify one important principle, I do not really believe in "complete happiness". On the other hand, I am not a pathetic pessimist or an always-stay-positive freak campaigner. I think it is termed as realist or something.

I accept whatever it is, gives effort, never put high hopes. To think about it, I stop being hoping and just go with the flow even if the initial plan went to wreck. Yeah, I plan too. Not sorely a complete hippies eh.

To understand what stand between me and complete happiness, well, I need to know what complete happiness is for me. I viewed complete happiness as being satisfied with the way I live my life. Personally as a Muslim, it means that whatever helped me to get Allah accreditation. To tell you the truth, I am so far away from that. I'm trying still. I am still a faraway heart at living zuhud (unattach to the worldly needs) but we can still always tries to do good deeds.

So, live will mean so much more if we have an utmost goals to achieve. Being a muslim, it is set rather plainly easy. To get His love and be granted Jannah. Yeah, those non-muslim may have thought that this is lame and conservative and downright abuse at one point but that is truly their issues. Guess what, not all Muslim shares this same thought but truly we held no hard feelings whatsoever. Some of you may understand how non-Muslim viewed this as not living the life but that is what is funny right. I mean, the ustaz start wearing tux and be claimed to be edgy muslim but then why? Because all their western idols are wearing such and be all succeed, rich and handsome. Because they are majority. Because all of Instagram feeds, Tweets and television are full of those. We are just following. 

Some scholar have shared this words saying, if we ain't living the way Rasulullah is, donning his apparels or his wives apparels, how can he know us I akhirat? I mean, if our live is all about looking like western artists, would not he mistaken us as kaffir as well? Just think about it.

So yeah, my complete happiness is to live as a proud Muslim and I am the only one stopping myself from it. They say it is for the lack of hidayah or iman and that we need to pray more. I will pray so much. But, Islam is not only about the black overalls and the long ass beard. One thing purely genuine in Islam that there are many ways to show our love for Him. No, bombing peoples is not one of the way. Killing people is a very big sin that Allah say if we kill a man for unjustified reason, it is like we kill the whole humanity. 

I have seen my share of other peoples doing their ibadah in their own different way and they are happy. No one really know if Allah accept their ibadah but their peacefulness is some kind of proof am I not right?

I just need to find my own way.

The only one who can do that is me. I can not have others deciding what I want to do in my life. Whatever it is stopping me from being happy is truly my own self. If something bothers me, I should be the one getting rid of it. If living to His satisfaction is my happiness, I should be including ways to be one and being confident with it.

You know the most beautiful thing is? No one can really help me to figure these things out but Him. I can always have Him and will always do, InsyaAllah.