Roll On: 5 Things I Want To Focus on During Ramadhan.

If anyone took notice, I shared that I was afraid for Ramadhan to come. I guess that was inevitable especially for those (read ; me) who always try to keep up a new habit and almost consistently failed. I was a bit afraid that I will waste the month.

I also told that I will try to make sort of daily muthabaah to keep me going and that is the essence of this post. I'm feeling super duper conscious but still, I really want to write this. Ok, let's just go straight into it.

Oh btw, you have rarely seen me doing spiritually related post because I'm not the best one to seek for those so, I don't know, don't expect so much? I know how people always need the best of credential before giving advice though everyone can give advice.

dhuha prayer

Ok, I have been trying to get dhuha prayer into my system since forever. As my morning is so free now, I  thought this is the time! Why dhuha? Because everyone knows I fall in love so bad with a good night sleep but alas can't get to sleep earlier than 12 am so tahajud gonna be quite a hard time for me. We all also know that how tahajud is the best prayer and there is this hadith or something saying the next best thing is dhuha prayer. I want something I believe I can do every day so dhuha prayer is obviously the best choice.

400 zikr am/pm

I attend some ta alim and they shared that we should try to have more zikir (remembering Allah) and instead just say go zikr more, (so vague don't you think so?) they have an actual plan. The plan was to have 400 zikr after subuh (in the morning) and another 400 after asar (in the afternoon). I was more in love with the choice of zikir. The first hundred was zikr Fatimah (33 SubhanAllah, 33 Alhamdulillah and 34 Allahu Akbar), the second hundred was istighfar, the third hundred was the duaa that Nabi Yunus made when he got stuck in that fish belly and the last hundred is selawat. I like the fact we got something to embrace Allah greatness, something to humble us, something making us ask for forgiveness and also somethingg to remember Nabi Muhammad SAW. 

So the trick is to set a time and just sit and absorb the zikr. For each zikr try to reflect yourself accordingly. Be present in the process (zen sangat)

tilawah more

I was always so tempted not to read al-Quran although once I get into it, the mere act of tilawah itself was so calming. It kinda hurts that I still need to mentally remind myself not to be lazy and just read it for heaven's sake. Even so, I realise I only read it after Maghrib though I always want to have two sitting of tilawah per day. It's about inserting a new daily routine. Since now we don't have time to read after Maghrib, I have to read at other time and I hope by that it will help me to settle into my system that I can read more daily. Not exclusively only after Maghrib.

Solat on time

I hate that when it's nearing solat time but I still lazying around and not actually ready to go to solat. The idea was to prepare beforehand. Of course, it is inevitable for Maghrib for now but you get what I mean. Especially for Asar which is really a joke because sometimes I only get sleepy late and then it's 4pm already and I always convince myself that you are not that sleepy so come sleep a while only alas I always only woke up something after 5pm and will be groggy for 15 minutes minimum! Sleeping in evening is such a limbo thing.

not being harsh with myself

I use to do tracking method for new habits. It kinda comes naturally right? But for now, I really don't want to. I'll make myself do these things especially if I missed it before etc etc but I won't record it. I want to realise I will have my downfall but it's okay because I can always do it next time. Fall seven-time stand up eight right?

The problem with tracking is that I will feel so bad with myself and end up just giving up. This is actually what I learned for some Zen book I read and I guess it is working. I always forgot that no matter how bad you've been what matter is all the efforts were done and self-wallowing in pity that "I am weak"  will get me nowhere.

As long as I believe in myself and have faith in Him that He will help me. I am more than okay with that.