You know that article where they go into vivid details into life-related topics but it is like so mundane and you got confused at why they need to be this particular for, this is one of it.

First and foremost, I'm an Army.

I like telling peoples that. Did you now have a second thought about me?

I can say I'm into K-pop instead but saying I'm an Army, particularly in Malaysia, will always give out this spite and god I live for that. I live for that time when you thought I'm one thing but no, I'm so much more. Peoples are so much more. Who knows I can be this petty?

Anyway. I wasn't always an Army. I used to have a phase when every song I played is only from Bastille. I still have the biggest love for Maroon 5 and Adele is a world's treasure. As you can see here, my music taste is heavily from the western side. Minus my high school time when I watch anime avidly and remembers the OST so well or that time when I always watch Music Bank. Do you know KHS? That was a thing too.


source

So now I want to share some stuff that music has made me think deeply (maybe a little bit too deeply) and this is like so weird but seems like a fun thing to write. Plus, my new niche is all about embracing life. In all way possible.

Apparently, stereotyping a skin color/nationality/race also applies to music and I am one of them

K-pop has influenced me for the longest time. I was there when MTV first aired Big Bang and it was a big hit that then they suddenly have a show for k-pop songs. Imagine how weirded out I was. I always put MTV on (internet wasn't an option for me then) and suddenly some Korean dudes with the most intense music video are on my tv (it was Haru Haru, still my favorite until today). 

But the craze was shortlived because apparently, not all k-pop group was like Big Bang, Super Junior or Girl Generations. At one point it seems repetitive but peoples are still going nuts over it. It is only in 2017 that I started to love BTS and started to listen to k-pop again. I realized the years has been good for them. They now have so much to offer and it's sad that most peoples don't realize that simply because they are some soft Korean dudes and their fans are stupid teenagers.

First of all, teenagers nowadays are so brilliant.

Secondly, I was one of them too. I never thought of them as softies or gay whatsoever but just that k-pop is a teenager thing to do. I lived my entire life (or at least until two years back) thinking that western peoples are the best version and it turns out that US has some serious problems that Trump is now a president and Europes with Brexit and racism and begging for money so that they can continue their trip across Asia because it is a life changing experience to do. Not until now, that I let the benefit of the doubt seeps in that I understand how tough the industry is and how avid the fans are. Not until I got to a point to think that it must be for a reason, like how everything is. Like how peoples become mad with football. BUT, even if it is unreasonable, I must respect that.

Well, not understanding a thing in Korean might also be an issue here but I have started singing anime OST since high school so that is really not an issue. But to degrade others liking something because" it was stupid, you don't even understand them" is not cool. Not cool at all. Music transcends boundaries guys. Life 101. Don't you know that?





I never hated Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus or that time when I want to stop hating Taylor Swift's song but ended up hating it even more 

I never hated Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus. That Wrecking Ball is good and music videos are always so weird so it wasn't anything strange to me. But if you know me, you would know that I hate Taylor Swift's songs.

Hate is such a strong word.

Okay, maybe I'm just a little bit annoyed. I love "Love Story" though. Anyway. It's nothing personal. It is just her songs is not my type and it gets a little overwhelmingly annoying because it will always be played on the radio. She is so famous. But weirdly enough, why must I hated all her songs? Was it because of all her failed love affairs and the songs that come with it? Everyone does that though. Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus aren't the best of humans too.

But why? Taylor Swift's songs were catchy, her voice is incredible, she is so versatile and she is a great philanthropist too. But I don't like her songs at all.

On the other hand, sometime earlier this year, I somehow just can't do any sweet love songs. The kind that is too cutely falling in love. After a few months, I realized that I never feel anything like that. I  still like my old cutesy falling in love songs. For me, as long as the lyric is beautifully done, regardless of the topic, I'm good to go. Slowly, I started to accept love songs back. It was so weird.

I realized I can't do one thing and then realized I have never been that way and somehow I got back to my old self again.

What that has taught me is that I can sometimes act way differently and just not realizing it. That changes can really creep up on me even on something that I have made myself clear that "I stand on this solidly". What I did after having such a realization? I decided to challenge my own stereotype.

I then decided to not hate Taylor Swift's song (yup, I really did that). Maybe I keep on hating her songs just because it is her songs. I decided that I need to challenge my own stereotype so I put on her tops hits together with Musixmatch, ready to sing my heart out.

I started with Blank Space cause that is my least hated music and I ended up actually hating it. Turns out her lyrics feels too childish for me and that is why I can't do Taylor Swift songs. Basically, it was my rule 101, if the lyrics are good, I'm good to go.

THAT IS WHAT I CALLED AS WHEEL OF EMOTION

Old people that say today's song is poorly made and their old songs are better is only such way because they can't accept changes



So there's this colleague of mine that I love to make fun of and he then makes fun of me liking BTS justifying his late 90's and early 2000's songs were better. I told him how could he be right when there are millions of Army out there. That got me thinking because I do have those favorite songs that aren't being made such way anymore and I finally am among those who say "there aren't any good songs anymore". My playlist is mainly of songs from a few years back and it was funny because I'm only 26!

Although there are oldies songs that I like (if Hey Jude and Hotel California are considered as such), the composition and even the lyrics are obviously not something that today's generation would wind up and be considered as a today song. They will always be referred back to that past generation. But peoples changes. Newer (mainstreams) songs cater to newer generations.

It is just inevitable. There aren't any superior generations with superior songs. Realizing this, I notice that I'm just not used to the new songs because it wasn't from my usual singers. I think I was not open enough to new things. Jonas Brothers have been reunited and Sucker was so good but it wasn't anything that the Disney's Jonas Brother would ever come up with but I still love Loves Bug and Burnin Up just the same.

I realized that I just rejecting new songs because it is new and not something I used too. It was just like when I need Writing on The Walls and Dangerous Woman to come out that I realized both Sam Smith and Ariana Grande has some powerful vocals. Although I can keep on living in the past with my old songs and simply says today's generation didn't know better cause I'm older, but where's the fun in that? I'm not letting go of the excitement of knowing new songs!

I kid you not, I really did be thinking this deep and then started to put newer songs into my playlist.





Are you as heavily opinionated on music like me? Or am I just overreacting?

Hey June (don´t make it bad)

Jun 10, 2019


Someone tweets that 2020 is in six months and it is rather mind-blowing? That's a whole another decade coming in and I have only finished reading seven books for 2019 lol.

I'm having a headache right now and it is just so sudden. Annoying too. I'll probably be rambling nonsense through this post and things that I have done that I thought I needed to highlight it somewhere,

Yes, I do notice it is already the 10th of June and I should do this post earlier. Omg, my headache is so annoying.




As there is no actual target for May, I won't be doing any recap. Although I did wanted to at least finish Mikhail. I didn't. Mikhail is an easy read and I can manage many pages per sitting but to actually sits and read was a weird kind of problem for me. Like now, I'm currently doing the night shift, and as always, I bring myself a book. However, I decided to bring along Langit Vanilla and start this new read instead of finishing Mikhail. I should really read Mikhail and just be done with it. Langit Vanilla is good though.

I also wear all my baju kurung during May. I wanted to ensure that I wore everything since I did the no baju kurung on April. I don't even need a month. This clothing rules that I made actually make me feel even more secure with my wardrobe and feels guilty to buy more. It just feel like it will be a waste since what I have now is plenty enough. Though I did found some cute blouse that are so cheap and I just have to have it. I bought two. It was a good buy. For June, I'm going to wear all my tudung and shawls. This will be tricky since I need to match it with the right clothes. More ironing I guess.

I got a week of holiday before raya and it was a bliss to just stay home and I even manage to do some tidying up around the house that I didn't get to do it before. But I have to work on the weekend after raya. My rendang turns out good y'all.

I still didn't finish my NaPoWriMo. Between fasting, working and the lack of sleep, I just don't find the will to sit and write poems. 

I realize a friend of mine is rather spoiled or too priviledged? The rich and beautiful kind of privilege that she manifested in her opinions and personality. I think no one says anything because she's pretty (I don't think many realized that she is on the rich side). It wasn't anything major but there's another friend of me that might conjure up the very same type of attitude and I can imagine how bad she's going to be condemned for it. It was in my head for sometime and is a big realization too. I just have to let it out.

Omg, I have eaten painkiller and the effect should have kick in but the headache is still there.

I bought a make up organizer and put all my make up on display instead of in my make up bag so that it is easier for me to actually use it. It looks good. The zipper on the make up bag is broken so I just threw it away.

I actually joins a run on before puasa and there is another one at the end of June. Look at me being al sportyy.

I think June is just restructuring aka "to just be done with it" aka this is going to be my life to do list

  1. NaPoWriMo
  2. Mikhail
  3. Automatic monthly deduction from Maybank (lol random gilaa)
  4. Send my baju batik to the tailor
  5. Video raya for work
  6. Some blog makeover in accordance to my new niche - the pages, about me, tags, yada yadaa
  7. Write a post acccording to the new niche

I think I will update more. I just need my life to have more of that "done" element.

I need to have my car serviced in the morning so let's hope this headache will be gone.


Btw, I did something bad yesterday but I manage to cover it perfectly and no one should be affected by it, but I still have this guilt that I need to somehow confess to someone. What should I do?